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O Pioneer

by Bad Pacifist

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1.
Lies 03:01
I could tell a lie I could sing a lie I could live a lie Or even believe a lie And I bet you’d never know 'Cause I don't even know what lies I've told I wrote my story on a golden scroll I hid my face behind a microphone I sang my song I took my place on the stage, but I didn't tell it all I could tell a lie And you'd never know You might love me, you might need my love With your hands in mine, you think you’re better off But I’ll break your heart So you’d better let go, you had better run ‘Cause sometimes I lie Whether or not I want I am not a good man All fall short I am not a priest nor prophet nor king So please ignore the things I preach From this pulpit of sticks and stones that I'm trying to leave I know I've lied And I'm sorry
2.
I wanna have my way with words Words can heal, and words can make you hurt So break your silence, go ahead and fight it I'm afraid that this is gonna burn But I'm not sure what each word is worth I wanna talk you out of that Toes on the edge until I bring you back So slow your heartbeat, not so deafening I want you to hear the people clap But I've not said enough to go home yet I'm gonna have my way with words I’m gonna use them, I’m gonna make them hurt So shut up and listen until I finish Cause I won't stop till you get what you deserve I've not said enough to know you've heard
3.
Hot Lead 03:23
Your words hit me like hot lead Tearing through the target I hold to my chest You place an apple on my head And the firing squad lines up Go on and take your shot I am not a sin, I’m not a sin You treat me like I am sick You teach your daughters and your sons to run from it Your mercy and your grace condemn You drive me to tie a noose around my neck You say you’re for me You’re either for me or against me But this cruelty you call love is not what I need
4.
I went to war because I was bored I was working too hard and wondering what for I forgot what I was made for That's what I was looking for when I went to war Now it won't be long till I go home I hope I'm a different man, I pray I'm better I went to war to keep her guessing She thought she had figured me out, but she was wrong Something tho throw her off That's what I was looking for when I went to war When I went to war I was alone I didn't leave no sweetheart back home I never looked back That's why I felt so bold when I went to war I went to war because I was called I've known ever since I was only nine years old My boyhood came back to me And that's why I felt so bold when I went to war I've not changed so much But my home is not what it was My home is a ghost town My family has all gone My mother and father My sisters and brothers My sons and my daughters Moved on
5.
I'm Fine 04:08
I'm fine, my grief is finely ground, and finally spread thin The bitter cup that made me sick with grief is taken in And it covers me so thin it nearly can't be seen It covers me I'm fine, my grief entwined like lines of silk around my DNA Every strand is stained, as every grain is washed in blood And the tears that fell or every memory of my son It covers me
6.
Muse 04:34
She's like a sister to me, she is the muse behind every beautiful thing She is the sunshine breaking through grey skies Igniting the rain like golden droplets of fire And that's just her smile, that's just her smile She's like a sister to me, she is the muse behind every beautiful thing She's the emotion in every love song But this is no love song, 'cause that kind of love it too cheap Her love is not cheap, her love is not cheap She's like a sister to me, she is the picture of everything I failed to be She's captivating, but she's fading Her strength is failing But she's still stronger than me, she is stronger than me She's like a sister to me, she is the picture of everything I failed to be She is the one whom angels will run to When they need someone who can help them watch over you She will watch over you, she will watch over you
7.
O Pioneer 03:43
O Pioneer, no answer satisfies I grew up next to you, but we did not grow up in each other's shoes I'm just like you, but I'm nothing like you When mother disapproves, and makes you wish you'd never told the truth Your mother loves you, your mother loves you O Pioneer, no answer satisfies I put my head beneath the water, but it did not wash me clean It changes nothing, it changes nothing And I tried to believe everything my mother ever taught me Forgive my unbelief, oh lord, forgive me Your mother loves you, your mother loves you
8.
I am on your side, even if your head is not quite right So honey, be kind to yourself, honey, be kind I know you have dreams, 'cause I've seen The pictures you paint of yourself When you think there's no one watching And I know how it feels when you see The image you held of yourself Come crashing down, shattering There is no need to feel ashamed Of progress that you have not made The sun will come and start a new day You may never see yourself become The person that you want to be But don't give up, and don't stop trying I am on your side, even if your head is not quite right So honey, be kind to yourself, honey, be kind
9.
Vices 03:35
I found a way to laugh at the bottom of a long-necked bottle It doesn't take much, it's just that I need my fix to relax And I knew it was bad when I was looking for a way to dip out So I could have a drink on my own; never wanted you to find out I've got a lot of vices, a lot of vices A lot of vices I tried to pass the time spending the night in your arms Spending the night in your bed, never gave a damn about your heart I never meant to waste your time; I was sort of hoping to find You were just as selfish as I am; never meant to be a surprise And I have to ask, are some of us meant to wander? Are some of us meant to get lost? Are some of us meant to wander? Is it all part of the plan? Some of us meant to wander? Some of us meant to get lost? Are some some of us meant to wander? I've got a lot of vices, a lot of vices A lot of vices

credits

released August 1, 2016

Recorded, mixed and mastered by Josh Jones.

Electric guitars by Wess Willis.
Drums by Josh Jones.
Second vocal on Way With Words and Honey, Be Kind by Brooke Brown.
Second guitar on O Pioneer by Justin Hugus.

Artwork by Ashley E. Royse.

All songs written by Jay Eyestone.

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Bad Pacifist Bend, Oregon

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